‘Suppose you have a very good friend of the opposite sex with whom you share common commitments and projects which excite you both far more than others. You trust their wisdom and share many intimacies without fear. They understand you well and give you great advice. But you think they don’t attract you romantically. Think carefully. The bible says our longterm relationships should be with those who are more than our best friend, not less. Our culture encourages us to screen first for romantic appeal and see friendship as a secondary benefit. The bible encourages us to think the other way round. Look for someone who understands you better than you do yourself and who makes you a better person. And then explore whether that friendship could become a romance or more. It can be surprising how the holy spirit can then take and develop your feelings for one another, when built on the foundation of friendship’.